


Venturing out of Isolation

by Buffintruder



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Asian Character(s), Fluff, Gen, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Team as Family, Telepathy, and a bit of angst, they're all just a happy family okay fight me season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-28 21:45:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13912803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buffintruder/pseuds/Buffintruder
Summary: Things are awkward enough after the Librarians break their typical 'post-nightmare meetup in the kitchen' routine, without throwing accidental telepathy into the mix.





	Venturing out of Isolation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moonrunes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonrunes/gifts).



> For River, a truly wonderful person who introduced me to this show. I hope you like this!  
> Set sometime near the end of season 3

This isn’t the first time that Ezekiel Jones has jolted awake from a nightmare covered in sweat, every nerve tense and shaking. It isn’t even the first time he’s gone to the Library’s kitchen to get away from the crushing isolation of his room, only to find that one of the other Librarians are already there for the same reason.

Tonight, it’s just Stone, and he has left more than enough hot water in the kettle for Ezekiel to make his own cup of tea. His mind is still echoing with  _ everyone dying again and again, and he isn’t strong enough or smart enough or  _ good _ enough to save them  _ but the warmth of the kitchen brings it a little further away from his current reality.

Stone is sitting at the table, staring off into nothing. After making his drink, Ezekiel pulls out a chair across from him, but neither of them say anything. Just seeing him, alive and breathing despite all of Ezekiel’s failures, is enough to calm him a little.

Time passes, and Ezekiel’s cup grows colder and emptier. He doesn’t get up to refill it. His heart slows, his body becomes less jittery, and his thoughts are smoothing out of their former panicked state. He starts to feel more real and solid, but he still isn’t ready to try to go back to sleep, even though exhaustion presses down on him.

Cassandra appears soon afterwards, and the room seems to gain a bit more energy. She is by far the most lively and animated of the three of them, even at times like this when every reasonable person should be asleep. Currently her energy feels more desperate than cheerful.

“Looks like I’m not the only one down here tonight,” she says.

“Yeah...” Stone sighs while Ezekiel shakes his head.

They’re quiet for a moment before Ezekiel asks, “So what was yours about?” 

He knows that one of the best ways to make the aftereffects of a nightmare go away can be to talk about it. The three of them rarely directly describe the details of their nightmares to each other, maybe because some things are too personal to share, but sometimes, when all three of them are together like this they can talk about what bothered them that night.

“Just... the whole carnival thing from a few months ago. You know, being turned into a mermaid and brainwashed,” Cassandra says. “I really hate that someone else was controlling me and physically changing me and there wasn’t any part of me that was even aware of it.”

They have all been under mind-altering spells before, but that one was a little different. It wasn’t like one aspect of them like aggression or lack of restraint was brought into the forefront of their minds, ruling their actions. Here, everything inside their body, all their personality and agency, was lost. Ezekiel can see how that would bother someone like Cassandra who relies so heavily on her own mind and wants to be in control of her body. Having her will taken away from her is never easy for her to deal with, and that instance was just a particular flavor of it.

That one especially wasn’t easy for Ezekiel, though for slightly different reasons. The whole mind control was scary, as it always is, but it doesn’t get to him in the same way it gets to Cassandra. It is which role he was forced to play that bothers him, which seems silly to admit. If set up against mind control, it’s practically nothing. But it’s not like the mind control and forced into being a snake charmer were distinctly separate things, and maybe the two things combined magnifies the feeling of violation and insult.

He wanted to make a joke about it at the time, brush it off, say something like “I’m the wrong kind of Asian for this, but what can you expect from a guy who kidnaps a girl to make her like him?” but the words wouldn’t come out. Somehow acknowledging he was hurt by this felt like weakness. And he loves the rest of his team, but they are all white and can never fully understand what his issue with it is. Ezekiel has spent his whole life trying to be multifaceted, to be seen as more than just “that Asian kid” but then in one move, he was reduced down to one dimension in some racist, stereotyped costume that wasn’t even from his own culture.

He remembers the feeling of sick disgust, something that might have been shame if he wasn’t  _ Ezekiel Jones _ . He wanted to rip the costume all off like the cloth was covered in poison and throw it as far away from him as possible. He would have rather been rather naked than wearing  _ that _ , but even his hands weren’t under his control, and he felt so horribly helpless and weak.

“Yeah, that was not fun,” Ezekiel ends up saying in response a few moments too late for it to seem entirely natural.

“For me...” Stone starts. “Well, sometimes I worry about the people I’ve fought and hurt. It’s for the greater good or whatever, and most of the time they were trying to kill us first. But you know.”

_ It isn’t so easy to let go _ , Ezekiel finishes the sentence in his head. Baird would probably say something like the guilt keeps them good people or something, but all Ezekiel knows is that it really sucks.

“I couldn’t save you,” Ezekiel admits. “You all died, and I wasn’t good enough to save any of you.”

They’re all quiet for a moment before Cassandra breaks the silence with an awkward chuckle. “I love this job, but sometimes it’s all pretty messed up.”

“You can say that again,” Stone says, letting out a bitter snort. “I don’t know where I’d be without it though.”

“Working on some pipeline in Oklahoma,” Ezekiel says.

“Never knowing how much more exists in the universe, how much more exists in  _ yourself _ ,” Cassandra adds.

“Never meeting me,” Ezekiel teases. He raises his arms dramatically and points at himself.

“Lucky me _ , _ ” Stone replies sarcastically.

It’s worth it, the nightmares and constant near-death experiences and trauma for everything good that comes out of being a Librarian. Ezekiel would have quit if it wasn’t. It’s just that in times like this, it can be hard to remember that.

Cassandra giggles, but it’s quickly interrupted by a long yawn that sets Stone and Ezekiel off too. The next couple of minutes pass as the three of them try not to let their jaws tear themselves off their skulls.

“We really need to get some sleep,” Stone says when they’re finally able to stop. “It’s been busy these past few days.”

Ezekiel and Cassandra exchange reluctant glances.

“My room is too lonely,” Cassandra says, and that word by itself isn’t enough to capture the horror of going back to bed alone, but there’s something in her tone that does.

Right now, Ezekiel’s room seems horribly empty, like the perfect place for all his doubts and fears to multiply and consume his mind. He would honestly rather sleep in this kitchen, which feels far friendlier than his room, even if he were to be alone in it. Through the haziness that fogs up his thoughts, he thinks that it’s actually not a bad idea, so he slides out of his chair onto the ground. He’s slept on far worse, and at least he knows the floor is kept pretty clean, so all in all, it doesn’t seem too bad of an option.

“What are you doing, Jones?” Stone demands, peering down at Ezekiel with a frown.

“I think I’ll sleep here,” he says.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Got a better idea?” Ezekiel challenges.

“Come to my room?” Stone suggests, sounding more like he’s questioning the idea himself than he is inviting them.

And maybe because it’s three in the morning and all of them are half asleep, but they agree to spend the night with Stone. Since he only has one bed in his room and none of them feel like sleeping on the floor or dragging another one in, they agree to share it. Another time, Ezekiel might be embarrassed to admit needing company and being so close and personal to the people he works with, but he can’t bring his tired mind to care enough to refuse.

The bed fits all three of them, but they’re still squished enough that one of Ezekiel’s shoulders touches the wall while his knees brush Cassandra’s legs. It’s actually the least alone Ezekiel has felt in a long time. He almost feels safe from the fear that haunts his subconscious, and the weariness he was fighting off in the kitchen crashes down on him.

“Good night,” Cassandra whispers, and Ezekiel mumbles a response.

“G’night,” Stone echoes.

Ezekiel can feel Stone shift on the other side of the bed bump into Cassandra who moves a little closer to Ezekiel. With Cassandra right next to him in a bed that still smells like Stone, Ezekiel feels surrounded by the reminder that his friends are safe. And for now, that is enough.

...

The next morning, Ezekiel wakes up to warmth. He isn’t quite cuddling Cassandra, but the front of his body is pretty close to the side of hers. Ezekiel immediately shifts away, feeling a little awkward about the whole situation. He doesn’t enjoy being vulnerable like this, even in front of his friends. Maybe especially in front of his friends. 

He can’t deny that sleeping next to Cassandra and Stone has given him a far better rest than he would have had otherwise, but now that it’s over, he doesn’t know what to do or how to think about it.

Ezekiel slowly lifts one arm out from under the covers. Once it’s free, he pulls out his other one. Then, as smoothly and unobtrusively as he can, he slides his body out, careful not to wake the other two. If he hurries, he can leave before any further weirdness can occur. The last thing he wants is to talk to them about this.

The cool air is a relief from the stuffy, heat-trapping covers he was just under, but after another second, it turns uncomfortable. Already he misses the lazy warmth of the bed.

Shifting his weight forwards, Ezekiel prepares to crawl over Cassandra and Stone’s legs while shaking the bed as little as possible. He almost falls over when someone suddenly knocks loudly on the door.

“Stone?” Baird’s voice calls from the other side of the door. “Wake up! We need to find everybody else!”

Stone groans, and Cassandra makes a small noise of bleary surprise that Ezekiel vaguely hopes Baird doesn’t hear. The situation would be a little difficult to explain, and he is not awake enough to want to try.

“I’ll be right there,” Stone calls back. “And I’ll find Jones and Cass for you.”

“Alright,” Baird says. “But be quick. We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

Ezekiel can hear her walk away, muttering irritatedly under her breath.

“You’ll find us, huh?” Cassandra teases through a yawn as she rubs her eyes. “Such a difficult job.”

“Who wants to bet Baird’s still searching for us?” Ezekiel asks.

Stone rolls his eyes at both of them. “Sleep better last night?”

There’s something too understanding in his eyes as he glances at both Cassandra and Ezekiel, and it makes Ezekiel feel exposed and embarrassed. 

“I wasn’t here for me, you know,” he says quickly. “I just wanted to make sure you two were alright.”

“Suuure,” Cassandra says, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

Ezekiel knows that nothing he says will fool anyone, but he has to keep some sort of facade up. He doesn’t know how to stop.

“Whatever, just get outta here and get ready before Baird starts kicking down the door looking for the three of us,” Stone says, and Cassandra and Ezekiel leave to do just that.

Twenty minutes later, after a quick briefing from Jenkins that Ezekiel ignores, all of them stumble out of the Library’s door into a busy street. 

For a second, Ezekiel wonders why there are so many people out this early in the morning, but then he realizes that they are in a different time zone, and it is actually late evening. The sunlight is almost gone, leaving only a dark purple sky, but there are enough lights to illuminate the place pretty well. 

Ezekiel looks around and freezes. He recognizes the language spoken by passerbys and on the signs, the pattern of lines and circles advertising in neon colors or lit up by the streetlights and windows. Even the humidity in the air and the style of the buildings seem familiar.

“We’re in South Korea?” he exclaims.

“Haven’t you been paying attention to anything that’s been said in the past five minutes?” Baird demands.

“Not really,” Ezekiel replies, unrepentant.

“We’re in Andong,” Stone says irritatedly.

Ezekiel spins around to soak it all in, but he doesn’t have long to appreciate his surroundings before he has to hurry to catch up with the rest of the Librarians. Despite all of his travelling, Ezekiel has only been to the country of his great-grandparents once.

It’s a strange experience, just like it was the last time. He’s a tourist in a place that part of him feels should be a sort of home. The language he hears spoken around him now, though mostly incomprehensible, feels familiar in its cadence. There are a couple of words he can pick out, stirring long-forgotten memories of his birth parents shouting, singing, muttering, teasing. 

For once, he looks like everybody else around him. If he wants, he could ignore his purpose for being here, ignore his history and upbringing, ignore his lack of knowledge, and pretend that he is just another guy walking home from work, not visibly unusual in any way.

Ezekiel Jones has grown to love standing out, accepting every single one of his differences and quirks. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t wonder what it would be like to grow up somewhere he can blend in, in a place where no one would think he doesn’t belong just by looking at him.

By this point in his life, that thought is nothing more than a dream, and he tries to brush it off. He’s too Australian, too western, to fit in a place like this now. Not that he wants to. He walks next to the only white people on the street and feels almost as much of a foreigner as they are. Maybe this country had the chance to hold a significant impact in shaping his life, but that chance is gone now.

“In here,” Baird says, nodding to an old building right on the edge of the river running through the city.

It turns out they’re meeting with dragons, Korean ones this time. They called the Librarians to discuss their grievances with the Library, and Ezekiel worries that it’s going to be like that one time with the Apple of Discord or worse.

Instead, it’s infinitely better, at least at first. Baird goes off to do something (Ezekiel didn’t pay attention to what exactly it is), leaving the three Librarians all alone, but these dragons are far more reasonable and calm than their Chinese or European counterparts had been. Even though they feel that the Library is not acting in a way that matches the dragons’ best interests, their solution to fixing that is through diplomacy. It’s boring, but Ezekiel appreciates that they aren’t trying to kill anyone. They use some sort of artifact to make everyone tell the truth during the discussion, but at least they asked before using it, which is a lot better than most people the Librarians encounter.

Ezekiel sits back and lets Stone and Cassandra do most of the work. He doesn’t really want to speak when everybody is magically aware of exactly how sincere his words are. It isn’t that Ezekiel wants to lie to or deceive these dragons or his fellow Librarians, but he likes having the option. That isn’t to say he doesn’t offer brilliant insight or perfect solutions when needed, of course, but he doesn’t chatter as much. Besides, this kind of thing isn’t really his strong point, and he gets a little lost occasionally.

They disagree a lot, but they also come up with lots of compromises that most of the time end up working better for both groups than Ezekiel thought would be possible when he first heard the problem. Hours pass. They take a break for food, before diving right back into it. Overall, the negotiations go surprisingly well, right up until Ezekiel finds himself thinking about how tired he is, how he can’t wait to go back to the Library and relax on a couch with a nice bowl of lasagna—

except he doesn’t like lasagna very much

except  _ that’s my favorite food _

that’s not the couch he normally uses

and  _ these aren’t my thoughts  _

and suddenly Ezekiel is very aware of Cassandra and Stone freaking out as all of them realize simultaneously that somehow their brains/ _ thoughts/minds _ are connected. Ezekiel instantly thinks about how there are so many things in his mind that he doesn’t want the others to see, except he’s not sure if it came from him or somebody else.

Stone starts focusing very hard on the table in front of him, describing it ( _ brown, wooden, streaks of light and dark in a bumpy circular pattern, focus on that instead of anything else that could be in your head, it’s polished nicely, think of glass, think of trees, think of the grain and the different kinds of shades of brown _ ) so loudly that there’s barely any room in his head for anything else.

Cassandra is rambling ( _ it’s not that I have anything I want to hide from you guys! I’m not keeping secrets. Not important ones. It’s just it’s a bit awkward knowing you’re in here and—what if I think something I don’t actually mean and they all get the wrong idea of how I think? [what if there’s something in my thoughts they don’t like?] But really, I swear I trust you and there’s no reason you shouldn’t trust me [that’s not suspicious sounding at all], but I don’t like having my privacy invaded this way, and you already know all of this; I can tell you’re both thinking the same thing _ ), and it’s almost too fast to follow.

Ezekiel’s just trying to keep a grip on everything, but it’s hard to filter his thoughts between what’s acceptable for the others to hear and what’s not when he can’t do the filtering without thinking the thought first.

_ I know, right? _ Cassandra thinks in frustration. 

He didn’t mean for her hear that, but he thought it which meant everybody else thought it too, and this is going to get confusing fast. It’s too loud in his head, crammed with too many ideas and voices, and it’d be really nice if the two of them could just shut up  _ not that your thoughts are any quieter, Jones _ because it’s barely been fifteen seconds and this is already unbearable.

_ We have to find a way to stop this _ , all three of them think in unison.

Ezekiel feels a decision flash through Cassandra’s mind, then she says, “Excuse me? I think there’s a problem because I can hear Jake and Ezekiel in my head.”

The dragons stare at her, confused, and then everybody’s talking and thinking and Ezekiel can’t focus on anything but neither can the other Librarians, so at least they can’t look at his thoughts too closely. Not that he even really knows what he is thinking at this point.

“I believe I may have a solution,” says the leader, and everyone quiets down. “Librarians, please wait just a little longer.”

All at once, there is relief because the three of them know that they can’t live with this for much longer. If the leader of the dragons has a way of fixing this, then it means they don’t have to navigate their three combined brains to find a way out of this themselves.

Ezekiel hopes that whatever the dragons are doing, it’s quick, because every time he thinks about not wanting the others to know some of the stuff that is in his mind, the closer he comes to thinking them. For an instant, his mind offers up an example, and there’s a flash of  _ cold and desperate and alone and helpless and gray _ before it’s gone.

_ Speaking of things I shouldn’t think about,  _ Stone thinks and a moment later, he feels a sharp stab of embarrassment, terrified that one of them heard his last thought, but Ezekiel didn’t hear it; he was listening to Cassandra trying to puzzle out what the dragon could be talking about. If they weren’t all in his mind  _ (are you sure you aren’t in  _ my _ mind?) _ Ezekiel would never admit that he’s incredibly impressed by how fast and smooth her thoughts are.  _ (That’s really kind of you!) _ He can’t keep up with it, only watch from a distance as the sparks fly.

Sparks reminds him of fire which reminds of things he’s not supposed to think of which leads to  _ there’s a house ablaze and smoke everywhere but it’s not  _ his _ fault, it isn’t, _ and Ezekiel quickly tries to think about anything else. He can’t quite come up with what to think of yet because everything in his mind feels out of control, but at least focusing on that confusion is better than focusing on anything personal.

Ezekiel catches a glimpse of Stone’s shame or fear or excitement or whatever complex, multi-layered emotion causes him to hide his true self from his family. That pushes Cassandra into remembering, for one brief instant, that crushing guilt and worthlessness when her parents decided that her brain tumor was too much trouble. Ezekiel thinks about what he recently told Cindy, about his life as the poor Korean kid, about feeling like he was miles below everyone else, until he made himself into something more by taking what he thought the world owed him.

There’s only a second to feel vulnerable from knowing that the other two know that memory too now before suddenly everything is quiet and Ezekiel is alone in his head.

“I must apologize,” the dragon leader says. She’s holding up the artifact that made them aware of other people’s lies, which is a little worrisome. “I’m afraid that this truth field works through minor telepathy, allowing the people it affects to read the sincerity of others. It must have been working on you for so long that it overloaded your brains and caused you three to be in each other’s minds. We have not had much experience using this artifact on humans.”

“Would have been nice to know that before all of this,” Ezekiel grumbles. The artifact must not be working anymore because he doesn’t know whether or not the dragon is telling the truth or not, but he doesn’t think she’s lying.

“Indeed, and I am sorry about that,” the dragon says.

“Well,” Cassandra says, trying too hard to be cheerful. “Can we finish this discussion another day? I think we all need a break after what just happened.”

“Of course,” the dragon says. “We truly appreciate the work you have put into fostering better relations between us and the Library. I apologize that our meeting ended on this sour note.”

“Thank you for providing us the opportunity to increase peace,” Stone says, even though Ezekiel is certain he’s thinking something far less happy and polite.

The Librarians meet Baird outside the negotiation room, and as they walk back to the Library’s entrance, they explain to her what just happened.

“That’s... that sounds incredibly dangerous.” Baird is frowning, and even though Ezekiel knows that it’s not his fault whatsoever, he feels a little guilty. “The magic overloaded and messed up something in your brains? Are you sure you’re okay?”

“It’s not everyday your friends can hear everything you’re thinking, so that’s been kind of not wonderful. But I don’t feel any worse or different than I’d expect. That’s a good thing, right?” Cassandra says, and Ezekiel knows that she’s trying very hard to look on the bright side of things.

“Yeah,” Stone agrees. “It’s weird, but not...  _ weird, _ you know?”

“My brain doesn’t hurt or anything. I feel fine,” Ezekiel says.

“I wish I could  do something to be sure, but I don’t know how to check for mental damage, and the three of you sound normal.” Baird sighs. “We’ll see if Jenkins can do anything more.”

Jenkins, as it turns out, does not know what more can be done. He asks them a few questions until Ezekiel complains about having a long day and flees to the kitchen to eat some leftover pizza. After the day he’s had, he definitely deserves some. He feels exhausted and stretched and so incredibly exposed.

It’s not that Stone and Cassandra know so many more details about his life than they did before, because Ezekiel knows that he didn’t pick up much of that from them. There was too much going on to notice and remember many specifics. 

Instead, he has caught glimpses into the way their minds work, how one thought can leap to another, the kinds of sounds and images and feelings that they attach to their memories and opinions, the way they process the world. What Ezekiel did learn about them seems far more intimate than information about details of their lives could be. He knows them in a way that nobody else can, and they know him in the same way.

He felt Cassandra’s scatteredness. There are a thousand things going on in her brain at any given instant, so much faster than he can comprehend. Everything has a smell associated with it and a dozen connotations and hints of memories linked to that, adding layers of meaning to every word. Her thoughts are like static, bright and sparkling, forming some bigger picture that he can’t see. He’s seen himself through her eyes, and it scares him how much and how little she understands him. 

He felt Stone’s contradictions, Stone who thinks out each word of all of his thoughts in his mind, rather than letting them zip by like Cassandra does. There are lights and music in the background of Stone’s mind, and it’s surprising fluid for a person as steady as Stone is. There is something straightforward about the connections in his trains of thoughts, despite embellishments of flowery words from other languages that he automatically slips in. His thoughts exist like blurred photographs that can only have one clear focus at a time, but there are so many of them stored away, more than Ezekiel thought could ever exist in one mind.

Cassandra and Stone are real to Ezekiel in a way that no person has ever been. There was a time when Ezekiel convinced himself that he was the only real person in the entire world, and everybody else was just robots programmed to pretend the world was a certain way. It’s easier to live through the world acting like everybody is a person of their own than believing everything he knows is some massive conspiracy centering around him, but Ezekiel has never been able to definitively prove that it’s not the case until now.

It’s scary but also a little relieving.

Ezekiel thought he would be glad to be away from the other two, to have some time to himself. They have just been in each other’s heads, and it should be good to be alone for awhile. He doesn’t want to think about how much they know him and his vulnerabilities and the shape of his thoughts, and that’s harder to ignore when he is in the same room as them. 

It’s also very lonely to be without them when not so long ago they were almost a part of him. For a couple of minutes, he was broken out of an isolation that is supposed to be a constant in humans, and even though he hates how exposed and open it was, in a strange way he misses the togetherness and clear unquestionable bond he experienced. In comparison, being by himself makes him feel more alone than he has ever been.

As if summoned by his thoughts, Stone and Cassandra wander into the kitchen. Ezekiel doesn’t even argue when Cassandra steals a slice of his pizza. Stone digs out something from the fridge because he’s too health conscious to eat Ezekiel’s pizza for a meal, but the slow, barely interested way that he does it reveals he is just as drained as Ezekiel and Cassandra are, even if he’s putting a bit more work into his food.

“What a day, huh?” Cassandra says.

“Understatement of the  _ century _ ,” Ezekiel says, and then they’re all quiet for a bit. It’s awkward at first because there’s so many things that none of them are saying, but the food distracts them, and slowly the silence settles into a more familiar one.

“Not my favorite flavor of mind-messing magic,” Ezekiel says. “But not really the worst either. At least this isn’t nightmare material.”

“Well, not the magic itself,” Stone says. “Maybe some of the consequences are.”

Cassandra shifts uncomfortably. “I just want to say that I didn’t actually learn too much about anything private from you two.”

“We know, Cassie,” Stone says. “I didn’t see anything specific either.”

“Same,” Ezekiel adds. It makes everything a little better, but all of them know that it isn’t secrets being spilled that they’re worried about. “I think your minds are quite brilliant, actually. I knew you were a genius, Cassandra, but I didn’t  _ know _ . And Stone’s brain is a lot bigger than you’d expect.”  _ I don’t think less of you now _ , he doesn’t say, but he is sure they all understand it. They were just in his head, after all.

Cassandra beams at him, and Stone looks like he isn’t sure whether he’s offended or not, but the tensions has eased a bit.

“Your thoughts are like the smell of dried autumn leaves,” Cassandra tells him, and Ezekiel isn’t exactly sure what the connection is, but he knows that it’s a compliment.

“Wow, thanks,” he says sarcastically, and Cassandra rolls her eyes at him because she knows he’s just teasing her.

“I’m surprised Jones here even has thoughts,” Stone drawls. “Sometimes I wonder.”

“Rude,” Ezekiel says.

“I was thinking,” Cassandra starts.

“Yeah?” Stone asks when she doesn’t continue.

She shrugs embarrassedly. “I was just inside your minds, I should know how you feel about this. It’s just weird to ask. But last night? Or it was actually early this morning, but after we all came down here, and we, uh, we all decided that—”

“It was nice,” Stone says, and that’s the right thing to say. Cassandra looks relieved.

“I don’t want to be alone right now,” Ezekiel says because someone has to say it. It’s true, and he can’t help but remember that comfortable, lazy warmth before Baird woke them all up. Part of him is still scared of being vulnerable, but it’s not like he can get any more exposed than he was earlier that day. And Stone is right. It  _ was _ really nice.

Stone shrugs. “My room is always open to both of you, if you want to come again tonight.”

“Thank you,” Cassandra says. She steps towards the door of the kitchen. “I’m just going to, you know, brush my teeth and stuff. Thanks!” And then she’s gone.

“I, uh. I might also do that,” Ezekiel says and leaves the room before anything can get too awkward. Sharing a bed with coworkers isn’t exactly normal, even for a world class thief turned Librarian of a magical Library, and he isn’t sure how to treat it or how to talk to Cassandra and Stone about it, if this is going to be a regular thing or what. Even though he knows that over the years, their relationship has grown far closer to family than ordinary coworkers, it doesn’t make it less weird.

There was something safe and comfortable about sleeping side by side with them, and Ezekiel thinks that as long as Cassandra and Stone don’t seem to show signs of wanting to stop, he certainly isn’t going to be the one to pull out.

Ezekiel gets ready for bed, and with only a little hesitation, knocks on Stone’s door. It is quickly answered. Cassandra isn’t there yet, so Ezekiel and Stone awkwardly stand around for a moment before Ezekiel asks, “See anything shocking in my brain?”

Stone rolls his eyes. “It’s weird how much better I get the stuff you say now. I actually know why you just broke the silence like that.”

Ezekiel scoffs. “You’re telling me? Do you think I ever thought I’d understand a nerd like you?”

Cassandra comes, and the conversation halts. All of them are tired after a long day of negotiating (or rather night, since Andong is sixteen hours ahead of Oregon), so they don’t talk much more, and instead all climb into the bed. Ezekiel ends up in the middle, surrounded by the heat of two people on either side of him. It would be uncomfortably warm, but he’s pretty sure that the room temperature has gone down in the last couple of minutes, so it’s just perfect.

This time, it’s somehow more and less weird than the last time. When they were sharing thoughts, none of them really thought about this, so Ezekiel doesn’t actually know what the other two think about this new arrangement. But he has felt the shape of their minds, discovered patterns and links between their body language and thoughts that he never would have known before. Ezekiel knows that Stone and Cassandra feel similarly to how he feels about the whole situation, though of course they each have their twist on it.

They aren’t going to blame or judge him for messing anything up or appearing too weak by agreeing to this; they’re too busy worrying that the others think that about themselves. It should be reassuring, but somehow it isn’t. 

Maybe that’s because in the end, the judgement Ezekiel feels the most strongly comes from himself. Even after years, Ezekiel hasn’t quite gotten used to being able to fully rely on other people for support. It’s one thing when Stone pushes him out of the way of a monster or Cassandra figures out a connection he never would have been able to because that’s their jobs. When it comes to emotional stuff, it’s harder to accept help.

“Stop thinking about this too hard,” Cassandra complains, reaching over Ezekiel to poke Stone in the side. “I’m not in your head anymore, and I can still almost hear your thoughts because that’s how loudly you’re thinking.”

Ezekiel twists his head to look at Stone who looks uncomfortable, now that Cassandra has called him out. He seems like he was over-thinking things even more than Ezekiel was.

“I’m not,” Stone grumbles. “ _ You’re _ thinking too loud.”

“Can both of you shut up? I’m trying to sleep here,” Ezekiel says. “I don’t care how loudly you think, just  _ stop talking _ .” Somehow their bantering creates a bit of normality in a situation that is anything but.

Stone makes a vaguely annoyed sound and turns to face away from Ezekiel and Cassandra, but Ezekiel can somehow tell that there is a little less tension in the curve of his back.

Ezekiel closes his eyes, and sleep doesn’t come instantly, but it’s pretty close.

...

This morning, when Ezekiel opens his eyes, Cassandra is already awake. She’s sitting up, her back resting against the headboard of the bed, and her eyes are fixed somewhere on the wall on the other side of the room.

“You good?” Ezekiel asks quietly because he can tell that she isn’t quite alright.

“Oh you’re awake!” Cassandra whispers, chuckling a little too lightly. “I was starting to get bored being the only one up.”

Ezekiel decides against pointing out that she could have left anytime and found something better to do. He is pretty sure that she stayed for a reason, but he doesn’t push it. He recognizes how she looks after she’s had a nightmare.

“Right. Well, if you don’t need anything, I’m going to go get some breakfast.” He points towards the door, a move which would have looked a lot smoother if he wasn’t still lying down under the covers of the bed. Even though Ezekiel doesn’t want to secretly flee like he did the day before, he won’t stick around any longer than he has to either.

“Okay!” Cassandra says, hopping off of the bed, leaving space for Ezekiel to follow. “I think I’ll join you.”

Their movement shifts the mattress too much, or maybe their voices end up climbing too loudly, and Stone stirs awake.

“Good morning,” he says, his voice coming out croaky and dry.

“We’re just leaving,” Ezekiel promises. “So, uh, thanks for the bed. See ya.”

Stone blinks at him in confusion as he starts to leave, clearly too groggy to fully comprehend his words. “Wait, wait. I just, before you go, I need to know, is this a thing?” He gestures at his room and the three of them. “I was going to ask last night, but...”

Having been in his head, Ezekiel can tell that Stone really means he stayed up late, unable to sleep because he was too busy wondering what it all meant, but he didn’t want to wake them up and ask, so he is doing it the first moment he has the opportunity to.

Ezekiel stops, but inside he sighs. He does not want to have this conversation right now. He was sort of hoping that maybe he could avoid it altogether.

“Well, it’s your room,” Cassandra points out. She seems almost as uncomfortable as Ezekiel feels, though to be fair, Stone isn’t looking much better.

“Whatever you need,” Stone says. “It gets lonely here sometimes, and I’m pretty sure it does for the both of you too. You can always drop by.”

“I’ll take you up on that,” Cassandra says. “And the same goes with my room too.”

“Yeah,” Ezekiel says, hoping that it’s enough, that he can leave before things get even more awkward.  _ This conversation will probably make your future a lot better and easier _ , the annoyingly rational side of his brain reminds him. It sounds a bit like Cassandra.  _ And it could make even worse conversations later on unnecessary _ . He groans internally. He might as well get it over with and get some things clarified. “But not like every night, right? Because I need to be alone sometimes.”

“I’d never make you do anything,” Stone says. “This is just an option for whenever one of us needs it or we all feel like it, or whatever. We’d let each other know if this isn’t what we’re in the mood for on a specific night.”

“Sounds good!” Cassandra says. “But I just want to make sure you both know that this isn’t ever going to be a sex thing for me. I’m gay. Well, bi, I guess, but it’s like 90 percent girls and you two aren’t in the other 10%. Sorry.”

Ezekiel shrugs at that because he isn’t offended. He of all people wouldn’t be insulted at someone not being attracted to him. It’s not like she called him bad looking or anything.

“I, um. I’m bisexual too,” Stone says, and he looks so awkward about it that Ezekiel thinks that maybe this is the first time he has ever told anyone.

“Excellent!” Cassandra says delightedly, giving him a high five.

“Looks like I’m the odd one out. I’m aroace. Aromantic and asexual,” Ezekiel clarifies since it’s not like ‘aroace’ is a very common term to most people. “I don’t feel that stuff towards anyone.”

Stone just looks bemused. “Are you saying that none of us here are straight?”

“I guess I am,” Ezekiel says, smirking just a little.

“That’s so great you guys!” Cassandra exclaims. Her grin seems almost wider than her face.

Stone just shakes his head. “And I was actually nervous to come out to you two. Shouldn’t have bothered with that.”

“Yeah,” Ezekiel says. “How come you didn’t overcome a lifetime of being told what you are is wrong and impossible? Coward.”

Stone looks like he isn’t sure whether he wants to laugh or smack him, but at least he doesn’t look guilty, so Ezekiel figures he’s done his job.

“Right!” Cassandra jumps up onto her toes, gleeful at everything being sorted out. “You said something about breakfast?”

“ _ Please _ don’t make me make pancakes for you again,” Ezekiel complains. “It’d be like the tenth time this month.”

“I’ve been in your mind,” Cassandra reminds him in a singsong voice, tapping his head gently. “I know you don’t really dislike it!”

“I didn’t even think about pancakes when our minds were connected!” Ezekiel protests, even though she isn’t wrong. He likes seeing her happy, and being the cause of some of that joy isn’t a bad feeling.

“Yeah, but I know  _ you _ !”

“Oh God,” Stone says, sharing a look with Ezekiel. “She’s going to be like this forever, isn’t she?”

“I know all about your darkest secrets, and you know mine,” Cassandra teases, even though all of them know that’s an exaggeration. “This is going to be so much fun!” She grabs both Ezekiel and Stone, pulling them out of the doorway towards the kitchen.

Strangely, Ezekiel finds that he doesn’t mind a bit.


End file.
